the story of my stalker

i hope he doesn't find this

it’s still kind of hard to believe that i have a stalker, it’s really flattering. don’t get me wrong, i hate him so much, and he’s caused me so much suffering and anxiety, but like you’re obsessed with me?!

i’m joking, i think at some point in every girls life we have fantasised about having a stalker, especially after watching the show ‘you’. i mean who wouldn’t want a tall, attractive, dark, seductive man to be completely and irrevocably obsessed with them? i used to want that, but now that i have it, i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. if anything, the show ‘you’ should have been a warning sign for us girls, a cautionary tale of over obsessive men.

i’ll give you a run down on how i met him. i was at work one day, he asked for my number, we started texting, i got weird vibes but still went on a date with him. the date was the most creepy and fascinating one i have ever been on, and talking to him was enthralling, not because i liked him (i didn’t one bit, i despised him the minute i sat down) but because of the sheer amount of lies he was able to come up with, that he thought i genuinely believed.

i ended the date pretty quickly, decided that i would go on another with him (my love life was extremely boring at this time and i needed some entertainment). because i didn't actually like him, i wouldn't text him back often, i mean his texts weren't interesting at all, nothing compared to the way he acted in real life. so he began to get upset when i wouldn't reply, would become quite aggressive, find my family on social media and request them, call me on different numbers, have his brother request me on social media. little things (creepy things) to get my attention. we had only been on one date and i was creeped out by the fact that he was able to find my sister on instagram, snapchat and fortnite when i hadn't even mentioned her on the date. so i ended things with him (at least i thought that would be the end of things) i messaged him and told him that we needed to stop talking as i wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship.

he wasn’t happy with this at all, the paragraphs started coming through, he went through 4 of the 5 stages of grief in my instagram dms (he still hasn’t achieved acceptance). i ignored the messages, i never cared about him and couldn't even be bothered reading all of them.

weeks went by, my family members continued getting friend requests on social media from him and his brother, i kept getting friend requests from fake accounts which were obviously him, he would dm me again every so often, but i just didn't open it. i ignored him, and it slowed down.

then my coworker messaged me and told me that he had been coming into work every hour of every day looking for me, this continued for a week, but i wasn’t working that week, so i didn't have to deal with it.

i was creeped out at this point, i was bothered now. i was scared to go back to work, my family and friends were scared for me to go back to work. nonetheless i go back and i’m checking behind me every 5 minutes because im paranoid as shit that hes going to be there. but hes not. i work 9 and a half hours, and i didn't see him once. he had been there doing his daily checking routine just the day before but i didn’t see him at all. i go back the next day, work another 9 and a half hour shift and again, don’t see him. i could not believe my luck, he stopped the day that i came back. i continued working another week and didn't see him at all. i came to the conclusion that he had given up on me the day before i came back, i had blocked him at this point and the friend requests to me and my family had stopped, so i assumed he gave up.

i wish that was the case. instead, the outcome couldn’t actually be worse. actually yes it could, if he killed me, that hasn’t happened yet, obviously. a couple of weeks had gone by, it’s 8:55am on a saturday, i walk into work and i’m looking down at my phone and get in the elevator. the person across from me in the elevator starts aggressively pushing the close door button, i look up, its him and HES WEARING THE WORK UNIFORM. THIS MAN HAS GOTTEN A JOB AT MY WORK.

my heart stops, i can’t breathe, he looks into my eyes, and keeps pressing the button. thank the lord, the elevator doesn't close, it’s broken, someone outside the elevator informs us and we both step out. i can barely text my sister, my hands are shaking so much. we wait for the new elevator and at this point there’s 3 other staff members who hop into the new elevator with us. he just watches me the entire ride. im going to the top floor and i pray he’ll get out before then. we get to the second floor to the top and everyone begins leaving except him. he hesitates for a second and once everyone gets out slowly walks out too, looking behind into my soul the entire time. he gets out and i tell my coworker in the break room. she tells me he started 2 days ago, she saw him getting a first day tour.

honestly that’s kind of where the story ends, its been a couple of months since he’s started working there and we haven’t spoken. only because every time he approaches me i walk the other way, or when he waits for me outside of work i run to my car. i am constantly in fear at work yes, we somehow always have the same shifts and although we work on different levels he enjoys using my levels break room and toilets to make me uncomfortable and ensure i always see him. yesterday i came into the break room to put my bag down at the start of my shift, he was in there alone and it was only us two, he didn’t say anything and i didn't face him, but i could see him watching me in a reflection. i was shaking so much i kept dropping everything and had to go to the bathroom to calm my breathing down so i didn't have a panic attack.

he has taught me one thing, iv’e learnt my lesson on leading on men. i used to love leading on men, as bad as it sounds. ever since my first boyfriend, my perspective on men changed, i understood they weren't like girls, they didn't have empathy for women, they would lead us on without a care in the world. so i made it my mission to lead on any man who deserved to be led on. i still think some men deserve to be led on. my stalker definitely deserves to be led on, and i don’t feel sorry one bit for leading him on, he deserves it, he’s an awful person, and he treats women horribly. i do regret it though, because of how much distress it’s caused me. if i knew it would result in this, i wouldn't have done it, for my own sake. but since i led him on, he wants to punish me, he likes to watch me suffer, he smirks when he sees my hands shake or when i struggle to breathe.

another question you might be asking is why didn't i tell my manager about him. well, because he never came into the store when i was working, i never saw him personally until he got the job there. i wish i had gone and talked to management anyway, but i thought the situation had resolved itself. the reason i still haven’t talked to management, is that there’s not much they can do now that he’s hired, he already doesn't work in the same department as me and they can’t fire him as he actually hasn't done anything to me on the clock yet. they could supposedly not put me on shift with him, but that would limit my hours so much and i would never be able to pick up a shift as it could be one he was working on. so i just have to struggle through it. its fine. im not going to let him ruin my job.

anyways this is just the beginning of my unusual love life, im sure ill write about the other men in my past, because it seems a boy has never liked me normally.